Extreme Ways
by IAmNotImportant
Summary: The inner musings of Ponyboy's stalker. Sort of a short fic/Poem. Inspired by Moby's "Extreme Ways" "Somebody save me, please let it be you"
1. I'd Wait in Line to See This

Title: _Extreme Ways_****

Rating: _PG_

A/N: _Inspired by Moby's "Extreme Ways". It's sort of a poem/short fic._

You don't see me 

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**_Hell, you don't even know I exist_**

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**_But I'm here_**

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**_I watch you_**

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**_I stand here_**

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**_Staring……._**

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**_Staring……._**

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**_Rain is pouring down from the sky_**

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**_The sky is enveloping me in its cold embrace_**

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**_But I keep my stance, my strong stance_**

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**_Water cascading down my head_**

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**_Over my face_**

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**_I hug my sweatshirt tighter against me_**

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**_But I stand as I still as I can_**

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I watch 

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**_I always watch_**

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**_You're a few feet away from me_**

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**_You're running_**

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**_On the long track field_**

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**_You're wet_**

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**_Soaking in the water_**

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**_The rain_**

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**_Even from where I stand_**

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**_I see you're breathing hard_**

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**_Panting breathlessly_**

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You're crying 

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But you never stop 

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Never stop running 

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**_I notice_**

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**_Even *I * notice all the emotions running_**

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**_Through you_**

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**_At this very moment_**

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You seem happy 

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You seem sad 

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**_You seem devastated………_**

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**_Suddenly………_**

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**_You stop_**

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**_Come to a brutal halt_**

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**_I see you collapse_**

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**_Drop to your knees_**

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**_The wet soil, dirt has covered your sweat-pants_**

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**_You fall into the position of a ball_**

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**_I see you're………_**

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**_Shaking_**

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Weeping 

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Wailing even 

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**_You're sobbing for you're friend_**

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**_The one that died_**

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I know 

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I always know 

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**_I want to reach out to you_**

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**_Touch you_**

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**_Hold you_**

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I stand behind the tall chain fence 

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**_But I don't………._**

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**_Reach_**

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**_I still don't move._**

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**_But I want too_**

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**_Gosh, I want too_**

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**_I can't, Pony_**

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I can't 

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**_I shouldn't be here_**

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No 

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**_I shouldn't_**

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**_Please_**

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**_I wish you could understand_**

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**_I wish you would even care_**

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**_But could you?_**

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**_Understand?_**

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**_I think………_**

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**_Maybe…….._**

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**_You could_**

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**_I look down at my watch_**

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**_It's 4:45 pm_**

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**_I have too go_**

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**_I can't stay_**

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**_But I don't want to leave you_**

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**_Alone_**

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**_But it's not like I'm your…..……._**

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**_Guardian Angel_**

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**_This role_**

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**_I've practically taken on_**

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**_Your silent watcher_**

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**_Angel_**

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**_Or Devil_**

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**_He could pick_**

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**_You could pick_**

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**_I see a car pull up not to far from where I stand_**

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**_I back away_**

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**_I see two boys come out_**

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**_They walk slowly through the field_**

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**_Not minding the rain_**

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**_The cold water_**

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**_They approach the crying form_**

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**_And I see the younger of the two bends down_**

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**_He holds Ponyboy tightly to him_**

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**_The other stands to the side_**

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**_His hands_**

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**_In his pockets_**

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**_But he watches intently_**

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**_He's concerned_**

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**_He's worried_**

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**_They soon get up_**

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**_Walk nearer to where I stand_**

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**_Once more_**

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**_I back away, nervously_**

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**_I realize their not coming towards me_**

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**_No_**

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**_Never to me_**

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**_I see them get in the car_**

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**_I see them drive off_**

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**_And I wish……_**

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**_Only wish_**

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**_They'd see me_**

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**_Hello. My names Caresella Feliciano. I've adored Ponyboy Curtis for two years now. I live in a "home", a home of problems; I've come to think of it as. The only way for me to take my mind off them is to mind other peoples lives, troubles._**

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**_But hey!_**

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**_I wouldn't call it stalking._**

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**_At least I don't think it is._**

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    **_Extreme ways are back again_**
    
    **_Extreme places I didn't know_**
    
    **_I broke everything new again_**
    
    **_Everything that I'd owned_**
    
    **_I threw it out the windows, came along_**
    
    **_Extreme ways I know move apart_**
    
    **_The colors of my sea_**
    
    **_Perfect color me_**
    
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    **_Extreme ways that that help me_**
    
    **_Help me out at night_**
    
    **_Extreme places I had gone_**
    
    **_But never seen any light_**
    
    **_Dirty basements, dirty noise _**
    
    **_Dirty places coming through_**
    
    **_Extreme worlds alone_**
    
    **_Did you ever like it planned_**
    
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    **_I would stand in line for this_**
    
    **_There's always room in life for this_**
    
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    **_Oh baby, oh baby_**
    
    **_Then it fell apart, fell apart_**
    
    **_Oh baby, oh baby_**
    
    **_Then it fell apart, it fell apart_**
    
    **_Oh baby, oh baby_**
    
    **_Then it fell apart, it fell apart_**
    
    **_Oh baby, oh baby_**
    
    **_Like it always does, always does_**
    
    **_Extreme songs that told me_**
    
    **_They helped me down every night_**
    
    **_I didn't have much to say_**
    
    **_I didn't get above the light_**
    
    **_I closed my eyes and closed myself_**
    
    **_And closed my world and never opened _**
    
    **_Up to anything_**
    
    **_That could get me along_**
    
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    **_I had to close down everything_**
    
    **_I had to close down my mind_**
    
    **_Too many things to cover me_**
    
    **_Too much can make me blind_**
    
    **_I've seen so much in so many places_**
    
    **_So many heartaches, so many faces_**
    
    **_So many dirty things_**
    
    **_You couldn't believe_**
    
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    **_I would stand in line for this_**
    
    **_It's always good in life for this_**
    
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    **_Oh baby, oh baby_**
    
    **_Then it fell apart, fell apart_**
    
    **_Oh baby, oh baby_**
    
    **_Then it fell apart, it fell apart_**
    
    **_Oh baby, oh baby_**
    
    **_Then it fell apart, it fell apart_**
    
    **_Oh baby, oh baby_**
    
    **_Like it always does, always does_**
    
    **_                                                         -Moby "Extreme Ways"_**
    
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	2. Mind You

**Extreme Ways, Poem/Short Story #2**

I sit here

_ Staring out the window_

_Of this cluttered-mess of a room_

_In the corner at a empty table_

_Everyone is around me_

_But not **with **me_

_I barely touch the food on my tray_

_I don't even look down at it_

_Just you_

_Always you_

_You're outside_

_Hanging out with your friends_

_Your Greaser buddies_

_You sit at the center of this madness_

_The people around you are in an animated conversation_

_Laughing_

_Smiling_

_Yet you seem not to pay the slightest bit of attention to them_

_You're looking out into nothing_

_Nothing at all_

_I've noticed you've been doing that lately_

_And by "Lately" I mean after you're friends death_

_You're slipping_

_Away from your family_

_Away from your sanity_

_Away from this big-bad world_

_Disappearing into nothingness_

_Into Darkness_

_A place, which seems less heck-tic_

_Less weird_

_Just normal_

_I know what I'm saying_

_Thinking_

_Because I've gone though it_

_I've slipped_

_And disappeared_

_I'm not here_

_Even as I watch your lonely, indolent eyes_

_Almost losing that spark in them, I have seen so many times before_

_I'm not here_

_Gone _

_Away_

_I feel…_

_Dead_

_You shouldn't suffer this way_

_I wouldn't want you too_

_It's not the greatest state of being_

_But even I see you're…_

_Disappearing as well_

_Not physically_

_Emotionally_

_Maybe psychotically_

_I'm the only one who knows that you're…._

_Fading too_

Dying like I have 

_And you keep thinking_

_"**No one cares**"_

_Since they're too busy living their own lives_

_Too busy minding their own problems_

_What they don't realize is_

_That you're getting to the end of your rope_

_And your worried no one will be at the end when you get there_

_Don't worry_

_I'll be there_

_I'll always be there_

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the street bears no relief  
when everybody's fighting  
the street bears no relief  
with light so hot and binding  
  
I run the stairs away  
and walk into the nighttime  
the sadness flows like water  
and washes down the heartache  
and washes down the heartache  
  
my heart is full  
my heart is wide   
the saddest song to play  
on the strings of my heart  
  
the heat is on its own  
the roof seems so inviting  
a vantage point is gained  
to watch the children fighting  
  
so lead me to the harbour  
and float me on the waves  
sink me in the ocean  
to sleep in a sailor's grave  
to sleep in a sailor's grave

**_                                          -Moby "Harbour" _**

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	3. Save Me:All I've done was leading up to ...

_The light_

_I see it_

_In you_

_It's like a tunnel; the brightness is at the end_

_But you have to watch out'_

_It could only be a train after all_

_I lean against the side of an anonymous car_

_School has been over for 20 minutes but I can't leave just yet_

_You stand oh so close_

_So close I think if I whispered your name_

_You'd hear_

_Please, hear me_

_I see you for the first time in months_

_Laugh_

_How joyous it sounds_

_Maybe I had been wrong_

_About what I had thought would happen to you_

_Sooner or later_

_The darkness is such an addicting place_

_And once you're there, you think everyone on the track to it will end up here eventually_

_Not you_

_Oh, no_

_You were one of the lucky ones_

_I always knew you were strong_

_Enough_

_But will this happiness of yours last?_

_Is it just a front? To keep those around you oblivious_

_Of your real pain_

_I wonder_

_Too much actually_

_If I were in your life_

_Would anything in you change?_

_Would you talk to me with such kindness like you do with your brothers?_

_With your friends?_

_Would I even be under that category?_

_You're recovering; I can't lie about that, not to myself at least_

_So, why do I feel so left behind now?_

_You left me_

_Here in this damn place_

_Where everything is so screwed up, I can't make sense of anything_

_Not even this passion I feel for you_

_Yearn for you_

_Maybe this is all in my head_

_Although_

_This time_

_I need you_

_I don't need just "somebody" _

_It's you_

_Who can save me now?_

_I had said I was "gone" before but I'm not so sure anymore_

_Could I had only been drowning this whole time_

_And what I need is for someone to breath life into me_

_Please, let it be you_

_Only you_

_Save me, Ponyboy Curtis_

_Because now more than ever, I'm dying once again_

_Wanting to crawl away and never show my face _

_No one would notice if I were gone anyway! _

_I had said every person doesn't give a shit about you _

_Since they are to busy dealing with themselves._

_Well, how about someone deal with me!!_

_Did anyone ever think of saving **me**!_

_Huh?_

_Of course not_

_Not the first time I had tried to leave this place_

_And not the second time_

_Especially, not now, when it's going to be the third_

_I stand up on my feet, not having the car supporting me any longer. _

_I wasn't going to have **anyone** support me this time_

_I take a deep breath_

_And I begin walking_

_Away from you _

_Away from the teenagers who are too busy socializing to notice the whole world changing around them_

_I close my eyes _

_Unnecessary tears forming on my pale cheeks_

_A wavy, dark lock of my hair falling over my forehead _

_I step onto the black gravel road_

_Cars pass me from left to right_

_Can't they even see me!?_

_I outstretch my arms and I throw my head back_

_The warm sun shining over me, I feel it against my face_

_Against my body_

_Such a beautiful day_

_For such a pathetic death_

_Suicide you might call it_

_I've done it before, tried too_

_But **people **whole me back_

_Or is it just myself?_

_I can hear commotion riling all around me_

_The voices come off more like the buzzing of bees _

_My eyes open when I hear the beeping of a car_

_And as I put my head forward, I see it coming_

_Oh, it's coming all right_

_And as the driver hits the breaks, it keeps going_

_Life is such a wonderful thing_

_For **some **people that is_

_I truly believe that_

_I wasn't one of them_

_I thought you weren't either, Pony_

_But under it all, you deserve to be here_

_Most of all _

_You deserve to live a happy one_

_Enjoy what you got left of this world_

_Of this time_

_Because one day, it could all change_

_Like today_

**_Life is just…._**

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_I'm whisked away by a sharp blow suddenly_

_Another body colliding with mines, almost trampling me_

_I fall onto the side of the road_

_My shoulder hitting it's self-hard against it _

_Strong yet overbearing arms are wrapped around me_

_My face contorted in shock ness yet anger exploding _

_And I begin hitting the person_

_I was stopped yet again_

_Didn't anyone realize that I hated being here!_

_Couldn't I just be another stupid teen who had been to weak and beyond help?_

_So many of them_

_I'd be loss in the count_

_My cheeks are flushed furiously_

_I'm crying_

_Almost violently_

_Even as I hit harder and harder at the chest that is so close to mines_

_The arms never let go of me_

_I roll my head from side to side_

_"Leave me, leave me!" I'm screaming so loudly that it's deafening to me_

_His soothing whispers wash over my cries as the strength in me slips away_

_I bury my face in this stranger's chest_

_"…..Somebody save me" I murmur _

_"I have" He replies_

_I gaze wondrously_

_My vision trailing it's way higher to meet those_

_Indolent eyes_

_Those eyes that I have noticed constantly_

_That spark is in them again_

_I touch his face so softly_

_My fingers trace his features and his eyes follow them_

_I never known completeness _

_Like being here_

_I'm wrapped in the warmth of you_

_Here my heart knows calm for the first time_

_I wish this moment could last forever_

_I wish I could stay here with you for an eternity_

_It hit me_

_All I've known_

_All I've done_

_All I've felt_

_Was leading up to this_

_"…..Ponyboy"_

**A/N: Review, please and tell what you think.**


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